This life is so materialistic, everybody has to have all the mod cons, they have to have everything nice and shiny and complicated otherwise somehow we are missing out on something that everyone else is experiencing. But then consequently it is the end of the world when something goes wrong. The light switch in the bathroom suddenly in the last ten minutes doesn’t work. But its not even the bulb that’s blown because that would be too easy, the connection is the problem, the light flashes if you jiggle the switch and the fan comes on but the light doesn’t stay on, then it stops altogether and so its now a problem that means removing the switch from the wall which then becomes an electrical problem which involves turning off the electricity which in turn will no doubt reset everything in the house, this all comes to the point when I just want to leave and go to one of these places where problems such as these do not exist, like Tibet to be a monk or India where they can’t afford luxuries, they scrounge through rubbish to make a living and defaecate on the street but yet their lives are rich with culture and family and I get lost when I have pee in the dark. Or when I open the bedroom door, I can’t because the door has swelled and then when I’ve fixed that the hinge gets a squeak. Once that’s sorted the doors starts jamming again and then to top it off I can’t open it at all because I tried hanging up too many clothes on the hook on the inside, now a shirt has fallen off when I closed the door behind me and as a result it’s wedged beneath the door when you try to open it. I give up. I go to the kitchen and with it being too early for dinner I wash up a little, but I only succeed in splashing myself with water before giving up because I know I will shortly loose my temper. I decide that the wall I have to paint could be started again and as I make space by tidying away the new toasted sandwich maker I discover the handle is cracked, but it’s new! Why or how can this be? Why can’t things just survive for 20 years and then break, you feel it more deserving of replacing it, but I just can’t bare all this torment. Voices in my head start shouting again, filling me with guilt for all these things less fortunate people are missing out on, I get frustrated with. Having too much is in many ways worst than not having anything and I suppose by the time I got to be 28 I was no longer fascinated or in deed threatened by these wants and needs of society. I always looked at myself as being the old man that we would all end up being in another 30 or 40 years perhaps but I’m actually quite comfortable to be that now. I had spent my life being ignored or rejected and I came to this point of view that from now on I just want an easy life, a quiet life. I didn’t feel the need to socialise although one must make an effort at rare times to put yourself forward and be social able or else you will be totally cut off. Sometime it’s strategically viable to make associates, ( notice I didn’t say friends) for in life it is often not what you know, but for whom you know, perhaps slightly selfish but self preservation is one of the strongest human traits that we have, yet perhaps less talked about.
P.S. I fixed the light switch, but then after a few days it stopped working again, in my confusion of how this little piece of plastic is playing me for the fool I started to hit it with the base of my fist. Perhaps, just maybe, something is lose and can be adjusted with a little gentle persuasion. well, when my fist went through wall even I couldn't hold back a giggle of exasperation, my wife however was not impressed, not that she said so, I could just see it in her eyes. Like when a cat peeps through sly eyelids when its disturbed, thinking, 'Touch my tail, go on, just one more time cos I swear I'm ready,I'm gonna get you, I only washed this fur ten minutes ago and now your sweaty man hands have stunk me out again.'
Luckily my wife doesn't like to have long nails but she sure has a lobsters grip when she pinches you.
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